With recent speculation around the STRIVELONG Organization’s DOPE Camp, we sit with STRIVELONG President & CEO Lloyd Fandis and get the inside scoop on the new, systematic performance enhancement program for elite cyclists.
On Thursday, it will be revealed that Lloyd Fandis and his STRIVELONG Organisation partnered with the Pennsylvania Union of Researchers and Genetic Engineers (PURGE). Their aim was to create an elite training facility that will lead to a new breed of performance-enhanced cyclists.
Known as DOPE (Deliberative Organic Performance Enhancement) Camp, it is the result of several years of research, study and discovery and has led to a proud PURGE and a jubilant Fandis.
“Our DOPErs will ride among peleton’s elite”, announced Fandis, “and we intend to showcase each and every Graduate of our Camp prominently on the podium of every race they win!”
“The ultimate success of the DOPE Camp involves the steady application of Diet, Training and Embrocation or DTEs.” said Fandis. “Basically, the bigger the DTEs, the better the results. We aim to get our riders to the highest DTE levels possible.”
Fenergan was advised that the staple DOPE Camp diet involves a rich supply of organic dates, oats, potatoes and eggs. Fandis was quick (and somewhat proud) to point out that this can also be shortened to DOPE.
The real secret, it seems, is the unique style of training that has been introduced into the 4-month Camp.
“We have developed our own unique training method known as CART or Cyclo Aquatic Resistance Training.” claimed DOPE Camp Senior Trainer Huan Jrllic.
“Most training programs focus on building aerobic fitness through high-altitude exercises. This is just dumb.” said Jrllic.
“It’s like this. Altitude training is used to help the body adapt to a reduction of oxygen and a strong cyclist needs this in order to stimulate the creation of red blood cells. The problem is that the higher in altitude you go, i.e. the further from the earth’s core you go, the lower is the gravitational force on each rider. This means that the rider is artificially lighter and therefore the strength part of their training is less effective.”
“At the DOPE Camp, we subject riders to high-gravity and high-resistant underwater training. The rider experiences the same reduced oxygen content with the added benefit of a high-intensive workout. While it looks similar to Acquaspinning to the uninitiated, which has become the rage in Europe, CART involves full immersion with, goggles (optional) and snorkel.”
Saddle Embrocation – The Secret Sauce
The specialized form of training is combined with what Fandis referred to as the Hyper-Osmotic-Release Saddle Embrocation or HORSE for short.
“During the research phase, before we finalised the structure of the DOPE Camp, the PURGE led us to a very interesting gel-like compound that when combined with Drambuie™ and rubbed into the chamois of a riders’ shorts, acts as a very effective delivery mechanism for fast-acting nutrition during races.”
“Any high-alcohol carrier can be used, but we found Drambuie to be particularly effective and pleasing during long training sessions. The heather honey content also acts as an antiseptic which greatly assists in the prevention of infection.”
“I didn’t just want to create another training camp and the STRIVELONG Organisation would, under no circumstances, become associated with doping cheats!” said Fandis. “It took some time to get the formula right but I’m really pleased with what emerged from the PURGE.”
I wondered just how much of the programs is just another ruse to draw attention from the real issues at hand.
“The whole program is systematic.” insist both Fandis & Jllric in unison. “You can’t just jump in and expect results. You need to take on the right food and most importantly, you absolutely need the CART before the HORSE!”
The STRIVELONG Organisation plans two DOPE Camp intakes each year – one in October and one in March and is open to anyone over the age of 21.
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